Growing

There is so much I want to say and to say it correctly that I think it to death then wind up saying nothing. It's because I don't want to hurt anyone or sound stupid, that makes me fearful. Bottom line it's insecurity. So I go back to God's word read, meditate, pray, and do what it says and there is a confidence, peace, and joy I cannot explain. I have been afraid of success because it requires discipline. I have dealt with insecurity with making the commitment to do whatever it takes. Memorizing Hebrews 12 and really meditating on the verses has revealed what an encouragement and refreshing realization of what discipline really is. Discipline is not always about being punished for doing something wrong, but also about going to the next level when you have mastered one level. Learning to grow in discipline is painful, tiring but it is "a harvest of righteousness and peace for those trained by it". Because when the discipline is learned and it becomes a part of who I am it brings a confidence that I can be who God wants me to be. So I am no longer letting the pain of discipline keep me from succeeding.

Beth talks about being mad enough to get rid of her insecurity. I am not mad, I am just tired of it. Insecurity keeps us in such bondage we don't know what confidence really feels or looks like. The day I surrendered my anger to God and told him I was going to accept the situation and be thankful was the beginning of my real growth. I am tired of being insecure. Beth talks about relationships and how we look at them especially the male-female relationship. Our society and culture have a lot to do with that. But we have to stop looking to others for answers and get into God's word. I am so thankful that God gave us his word to keep going back to. There is so much to remember, especially at work, so I keep going back to read the orders or policies and procedures to make sure I perform correctly. I do that with life now. When something comes up or doubt-insecurity is trying to creep in I open up God's word, read it (out loud is even better),
and ask God for what I need, and THANK HIM because He is who He says He is and will do what He says HE will do.

Questions for our session tonight are on the very first blog posted. See you then.